Our Willie had been sae lang awa’
Frae bonnie Oxford toon,
The townsfolk they were greeting a’
As they went up and doon.
He hadna been gane a year, a year,
A year but barely ten,
When word cam unto Oxford toon.
Our Willie wad come agen.
Willie he stude at Thomas his Gate,
And made a lustie din;
And who so blithe as the gate-porter
To rise and let him in?
‘Now enter Willie, now enter Willie,
And look around the place.
And see the pain that we have ta’en
Thomas his Quad to grace.’
The first look that our Willie cast,
He leuch loud laughters three,
The neist look that our Willie cast,
The tear blindit his e’e.
Sae square and stark the Tea-chest frowned
Athwart the upper air,
But when the Trench our Willie saw,
He thocht the Tea-chest fair.
Sae murderous-deep the Trench did gape
The parapet aboon.
But when the Tunnel Willie saw.
He loved the Trench eftsoon.
’Twas mirk beneath the tane archway,
’Twas mirk beneath the tither;
Ye wadna ken a man therein.
Though it were your ain dear brither.
He turned him round and round about.
And looked upon the Three;
And dismal grew his countenance.
And drumlie grew his e’e.
‘What cheer, what cheer, my gallant knight?’
The gate-porter ’gan say.
‘Saw ever ye sae fair a sight
As ye have seen this day?’
‘Now haud your tongue of your prating, man:
Of your prating now let me be.
For, as I’m true knight, a fouler sight
I’ll never live to see.
‘Before I’d be the ruffian dark
Who planned this ghastly show,
I’d serve as secretary’s clerk
To Ayrton or to Lowe.
‘Before I’d own the loathly thing
That Christ Church Quad reveals,
I’d serve as shoeblack’s underling
To Odger and to Beales!’