There was a strange being into the North,
And, oh, he was strange to see;
His chin was as broad as the Firth of Forth,
And as deep as the Zuyderzee.
Ne did his chin conceal his knees,
Ne did it show his waist;
Eke was it like a peck of peas,
In human skin encased.
The neighbours oft had viewed his chin
With admiration mute;
“Soothly,” said they, “we will begin,
This man to prosecute.”
“Who knows but that this chin may hide
A sword or pike or gun?
Perhaps the Government,” they cried,
“He’ll murder one by one!”
His warrant duly was enrolled,
“His body ye shall seize,
And in safe custody shall hold,
Till further notices.”
The constables, a grimly pair,
Marched on their mission fell,
They took their victim by the hair,
And dragged him to his cell.
The lifelong night upon the stones
In fetters was he layn,
Whilom his sighs and eke his moans,
Betoken grief and pain.
The morrow morn the magistrate
Granted an interview.
His hair was short, though very straight
Toward the skies it grew.
The magistrate he raised his hand,
Ne from his seat he stirred,
“Aside,” said he, “I pr’y thee stand,
Anon thou shalt be heard.”
“Soothly,” said he, “and that will I
For certes am I weard.”
He sunk into a chair hard by,
And rubbed his frizzled beard.
The evidence was fairly tried,
The jury left the dock,
Upon their verdict to decide:
The key turned in the lock.
“Not guilty.” The judge forward bent,
His hair of eighty frosts,
“You see the prisoner’s innocent,
So you must pay the costs.”
Moral: “Pay the costs.”