The (almost really) Complete Works of Lewis Carroll

Speak Roughly to Your Little Boy

Source: Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland (extracted, connected)

Parody on Speak Gently by David Bates

Speak roughly to your little boy,
And beat him when he sneezes:
He only does it to annoy,
Because he knows it teases.

Wow! wow! wow!

I speak severely to my boy,
I beat him when he sneezes;
For he can thoroughly enjoy
The pepper when he pleases!

Wow! wow! wow!