The (almost really) Complete Works of Lewis Carroll

Miss Jones

Source: written October 1862

For convenience, the text is here repeated after the notes.

Recording available at http://areverend.free.fr/lesite/carroll/index90.html

Tis(1)amel-an-cho-lysong,anditwillnotkeepyoulong,ThoIspecsitwillworku-ponyourfee-lingsve-rystrongForthea-go-ni-singmoansofMissA-ra-bel-laJoneswere war-ran-tedtomelttheheartsofa-nypa-vingstones.Si-monSmithwastallandslimandshedo-tedu-ponhimButheal-(2)wayscalledherMissJones,hene-vergotsofarastouseherChris-tiannameitwastoofa-mi-li-arWhenshecalledhim“Si-mondear”hepre-ten-dednottohear,andshetoldhersis-terSu-sanhebe-havedex-treme-lyqueer:whosaid,“Ve-(3)ryright!ve-ryright!shewshistrueaf-fec-tionIfyou’dproveyourSi-mon’slovefol-lowmydi-rec-tion.I’dcer-(4)tain-lyad-viseyoujusttowriteasim-plelet-ter,Andtotellhimthatthecoldhekind-lyaskeda-boutisbet-ter.Andsay(5)thatbythetan-yardyouwillwaitinlov-inghope,At(6)nineo’clockthiseve-ningifhe’swil-lingto e-lopeWithhisfaith-fulAra- bel-la.”Soshewrote(7)it,&signedit,&sealedit,&sentit,&dressedher-selfoutinherho-li-daythings,Withbrace-lets&broo-ches,&ear-rings.&neck-lace,awatch,&aneye-glass,&di-a-mondringsFormanisacrea-tureweak&im-pres-si-ble,thinkssuchadealofap-pear-ance,mydear.Soshewai-(8)tedforherSi-monbe-sidethetan-yardgate,Re-gard-lessofthepie-man,whohin-teditwaslate.Wai-tingforSi-mon,shecoughed(9)inthechil-lynight,un-tiltheTan-nerfound her,Andkind-lybroughtalightoldcoattowrapa-roundher.Shefelthercoldwasget-tingworse,Yetstillshefond-lywhis-pe- red,“Ohtake(10)yourtime,mySi-mon,al-thoughI’vewai-tedlong.Ido(11)notfearmySi-mondearwillfailtocomeatlast,Al-thoughIknowthatlonga-gothetimeInamedispast.MySi-mon!mySi-mon!Oh,(12)char-mingman!oh!char-mingman!DearSi-monSmith,sweetSi-monSmith.”Oh,there(13)goesthechurch-clock,thetown-clock,thesta-tion-clock,&theregotheo-therclocks,theyallarestri-kingtwelve!OhSi-(14)mon,itisget-tinglate,It’sve-rydulltosit&wait.Andrea-llyI’minsuchastate,Ihopeyou’llcomeata-nyrate,quite(14) ear-lyinthemor-ning,quite ear-lyinthemor-ning.Then(15)withpran-cingbays&ayell-owchaise,we’ll awaytoGret-naGreen.ForwhenIamwithmy Si-monSmith—oh,(16)thatcom-monname!Ohthatvul-garname!Ishallne-verresthap-pytillhe’schangedthatname,but(17)whenhehasmar-riedme,may-beHe’ll3lovemetothatde-gree,Thathe’ll3grantmemyprayer&willcallhim-self“Clare.”So(18)she333talkedalla-lone,asshesatu-ponastone,Stillho-pinghewouldcomeandfind her,andshestar-tedmostun-kim-mon,whenin-steadofdar-ling“Si-mon”t’wasastrange manthatstoodbe-hindher,Whoci-vil-lyob-served“Good(19)eve-ning,M’am,Ire-allyamsur-prisedtoseethatyou’reOutherea-lone,foryoumustownfromthievesyou’renotse-cure.Awatch,Isee.Praylenditme(Ihopethegoldispure)Andall(20)thoserings,&o-therthings.Don’tscream,youknow,forlonga-goThepo-lice-manoff fromhisbeatbasgoneInthekit-chen”—“Ohyou(21)des-per-atevil-lain!Ohyoutreach-e-rousthief!”Andthesewerethewordsofheran-ger&grief.“Whenfirst(22)toSi- mon SmithIgave my handIne-vercouldhavethoughthewouldhaveac-tedhalfsomeanas this,andwhere’sthenewPo-lice?OhSi-mon,Si-mon!howcouldyoutreatyourlovesoill.Theysit&chat-ter,theycha-terwiththecook,Theguard-ians,sothey’recalled,ofpub-licpeace.Throughthetan-yardwasheardthedis-malsound,“Howonearthisitpo-lice-menne-ver,ne-ver,ne-ver,canbefound?”

(1) The Captain and his whiskers
(2) Willow we have missed you
(3) Cherry ripe
(4) Katie’s letter
(5) Irish Emigrant
(6) Annie Laurie
(7) Irish Jig
(8) Wait for the Waggon
(9) Oft in the stilly night
(10) Lucy Long
(11) Reuben Wright
(12) Oh Charming May
(13) Oh weel may be Real row
(14) So early in the morning
(15) Some love to roam
(16), (17) I will marry my own love
(18) The girl I left behind me
(19) The perfect cure
(20) The Minstrel boy
(21) Beautiful Rhines
(22) Rule Britannia

Tis a melancholy song,
and it will not keep you long,
Tho I specs it will work upon your feelings very strong
For the agonising moans
of Miss Arabella Jones
were warranted to melt the hearts of any paving stones.
Simon Smith was tall and slim
and she doted upon him
But he always called her Miss Jones,
he never got so far
as to use her Christian name
it was too familiar
When she called him “Simon dear”
he pretended not to hear,
and she told her sister Susan he behaved extremely queer:
who said, “Very right! very right!
shews his true affection
If you’d prove your Simon’s love
follow my direction.
I’d certainly advise you just to write a simple letter,
And to tell him that the cold he kindly asked about is better.
And say that by the tanyard you will wait in loving hope,
At nine o’clock this evening if he’s willing to elope
With his faithful Arabella.” So she wrote it, & signed it, & sealed it, & sent it, & dressed herself out in her holiday things,
With bracelets & brooches, & ear-rings, & necklace, a watch, & an eyeglass, & diamond rings
For man is a creature weak & impressible, thinks such a deal of appearance, my dear.
So she waited for her Simon
beside the tanyard gate,
Regardless of the pieman,
who hinted it was late.
Waiting for Simon,
she coughed in the chilly night,
until the Tanner found her,
And kindly brought a light
old coat to wrap around her.
She felt her cold was getting worse,
Yet still she fondly whispered,
“Oh take your time, my Simon,
although I’ve waited long.
I do not fear my Simon dear will fail to come at last,
Although I know that long ago the time I named is past.
My Simon! my Simon! Oh, charming man! oh! charming man!
Dear Simon Smith, sweet Simon Smith.”
Oh, there goes the church-clock,
the town-clock, the station-clock,
& there go the other clocks,
they all are striking twelve!
Oh Simon, it is getting late,
It’s very dull to sit & wait.
And really I’m in such a state,
I hope you’ll come at any rate,
quite early in the morning,
quite early in the morning.
Then with prancing bays & a yellow chaise,
we’ll away to Gretna Green.
For when I am with my Simon Smith —
oh, that common name! Oh that vulgar name!
I shall never rest happy till he’s changed that name,
but when he has married me, maybe
He’ll love me to that degree,
That he’ll grant me my prayer
& will call himself “Clare.”
So she talked all alone,
as she sat upon a stone,
Still hoping he would come and find her,
and she started most unkimmon,
when instead of darling “Simon”
t’was a strange man that stood behind her,
Who civilly observed “Good evening, M’am,
I really am surprised to see that you’re
Out here alone, for you must own
from thieves you’re not secure.
A watch, I see. Pray lend it me
(I hope the gold is pure)
And all those rings, & other things.
Don’t scream, you know, for long ago
The policemen off from his beat has gone
In the kitchen” — “Oh you desperate villain!
Oh you treacherous thief!”
And these were the words of her anger & grief.
“When first to Simon Smith I gave my hand
I never could have thought he would have acted half so mean as this,
and where’s the new Police?
Oh Simon, Simon! how could you treat your love so ill.
They sit & chatter, they chatter with the cook,
The guardians, so they’re called, of public peace.
Through the tanyard was heard the dismal sound,
“How on earth is it policemen never, never, never, can be found?”