To the Editor of The Standard
Sir,—A letter on this subject signed “C. C.,” in The Standard of to-day, contains these words:—“In a case like this the police are of no assistance. They cannot be got at in time.” May I take this opportunity for making public a remedy which has occurred to me for this “intolerable nuisance,” as “C. C.” rightly calls it?
If the police themselves would take up the matter, my “plan of campaign” would, I feel sure, work splendidly, and would afford, to any ardent lover of sport, all the excitement of duck-hunting with “decoys.” The modus operandi would be as follows:—Having chosen a convenient house in a quiet neighbourhood, conceal therein a couple (say) of stalwart policemen, so posted as to be able, themselves unseen, to see and hear all that goes on outside. Meanwhile, a cab, with a tempting amount of luggage on the roof, and containing, as “decoy-ducks,” a couple of seemingly feeble old ladies, is slowly driving along a neighbouring thorough-fare, the cabman having instructions to keep to the main streets till he finds that he has one or two “cab-runners” in persuit, and then to go at once to the house indicated. A respectable man emerges, takes charge of the boxes, and politely declines the assistance of the cab-runners. The rest of the scene needs no description.
But, even without the assistance of the authorities, much good may be done, and much fine sport obtained, by private enterprise. When a couple of genuine “feeble old ladies” are coming to town with a quantity of luggage, let them previously arrange to have two men awaiting their arrival; one, the “decoy,” to emerge from the house and take charge of the luggage: the other, a man of strength and courage, concealed (to avoid all appearance of collusion) in the next house, who is not to appear until the fun has become “fast and furious,” and is then to lounge out with the casual inquiry, “What’s all this about?” “Mind yer own business!” growls the angry cab-runner. “Mind yours!” retorts the man of nerve and muscle. “And just let go o’ that there box!” Here, again, the rest of the scene may be left to the reader’s imagination. As a point of law, I believe, it would only be necessary for the strong man to exercise forbearance till he had received one blow from the cab-runner. He would then be legally free to return it, with interest at the rate of ten, or even twenty per cent., should he feel so disposed.
I am, Sir, your obedient servant,
Lewis Carroll.
September 3.