To the Editor of the Oxford Undergraduate’s Journal
Sir,—The authorities of this place have altered the hour’s service at 9 o’clock on Sunday Morning to a service of an hour and three quarters on Sunday at 10. The reasons for this change have naturally not been vouchsafed to the Undergraduates of the house; and as they do not lie on the surface I have set myself to discover them. They are these:—
1. To prevent Undergraduates from attending the University Sermon. (N.B. The University Sermon of last Sunday week was preached by the Dean of Ch. Ch. I infer, therefore, that he is the Socrates of the present day.)
2. The abolition of the immoral and profligate Sunday Breakfast, where half a dozen Undergraduates used to assemble in the most riotous manner, and which led to every kind of intemperance, tumult, and Sabbath breaking.
3. The substitution and encouragement of the Sunday Lunch; where every liquor is consumed except the poisonous draughts of tea and coffee which used to undermine the Undergraduate constitution at 10.30 a. m.
4. The substitution of a service of 105 minutes, instead of the former one of 55, which was too long for the attention of an audience of young men. The change, it is hoped, may effect a more desirable result.
I consider, in giving these reasons, that I have penetrated the inscrutable mystery which surrounded the origin of this service. All I have to ask in return is that the authorities should warm the Church to a certain extent, so that I may not in future, numb-fingered, as now, have to sign myself
Ροδοδάκτυλος.